Girl Power

Girls are Friends, not Foes

Family group time was always a favorite part of my weeks at camp this past summer; I love the discussions that prompt, I always hope that the Holy Spirit will speak through me to share some wisdom with the students in my group. Let me tell you, your junior high/high school children/friends (it depends on who’s reading this) are not dumb or shallow as sometimes they are stereotypically labelled. They all have great questions and inner struggles that aren’t always at the surface.

A common theme that would get brought up by girls in my small groups would be “girl drama”. One of my favorite camper quotations from the summer was, “There is seriously so much drama in the third grade.” I think I asked a question about if they have many girl friends in school. Then two or three other girls would pipe up about how mean and nasty girls are, and how they talk about people behind their backs. I was kind of shocked and amused by their reactions, because they are girls. Do we realize that, as girls, when we say that girls talk about each other and are mean to each other, that we are talking about ourselves? Sometimes, we are the problem, but we can also be the solution.

Having friends that are girls can be so amazing and fulfilling, especially because no one asks if you’re dating them if you’re seen together often. (Small Christian college jokes. Ha.) On a deeper level, girls are great people to talk to that truly understand you. Guys make jokes all the time about women, how confusing we are and how hard we are to understand. As girls, we know what it’s like. When we decide to be a part of the solution (to strive to be a genuine friend), then we can start a trend of girls who put each other up instead of drag each other down.

Something that I struggle with when it comes to having girl friends is jealousy. Comparing ourselves to other girls is a huge problem with women, no matter what age. Whether it’s looks, body, grades, status, talent, money, or “getting the guy”, it’s so easy to get down on yourself because you don’t feel like you measure up to other girls. I can relate to this on a deep level. I find myself being jealous of other girls if I feel like they have a better body, or nicer skin, or if I feel like they are more spiritual than I am. Everyone does it though; I can almost guarantee that someone else is jealous of you in some way. Someone has told me that she was jealous of something about me before, and I was shocked. “What? Why would someone be jealous of me?!” I was thinking. When we focus our thoughts on others in comparison to ourselves, we sometimes neglect to see all the wonderful gifts God has given us! Comparing myself causes me to lose my identity as a daughter of the King.

At the same time, complimenting other girls is so important for other girls’ self-esteem. I’m trying to challenge myself daily to cheer other girls on! There are girls whom I’m friends with that have beautiful hearts of gold that are working for the Lord, and I want to challenge you to tell them that instead of feeling jealous! It’s difficult, but once you allow yourself to celebrate the wonderful things about yourself, you can celebrate all the great women around you. Or it might come the other way around for some of you.

Jen Hatmaker was talking in a video I watched about how sometimes girls feel as if we are fighting for chairs around this table of worthiness or popularity or whatever you want to call it. But instead of fighting for these chairs, we should bring up more chairs to the table. There is no limit of girls that can sit at the table, so invite yourself and your friends. Invite that girl on campus who you admire. We are all masterpieces and are worth celebrating. When girls empower and lift each other up, that’s where we’ll truly find girl power!

1 Thessalonians 5:11a “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

Love,

Sadie